Follow the Smoke to the Bozo-Filled Land
In this one we talk about legalized cannabis here in Jersey
Welcome to Moronitude! Let’s jump right in!
Earlier this week I was at the day job with my nose firmly on the grindstone, editing a bunch of articles that will be filling the next action-packed issue of Inked magazine. Like many creative folks, I have a mental zone I like to be in while working. Some people will throw on a ratty old sweater they find comforting. Other people require absolute silence and perfect, natural light. Me? I throw on my headphones and blast doom metal.
I like metal, but I’m not a metalhead by any means. I have my favorites but I don’t know the words to all the songs or anything, which is exactly why I think it works for editing. I never have an urge to sing along, I just bob my head and air-drum the occasional frill. And I listen to it really, really loud to completely drown out my coworkers. Which is nice.
This week I was rocking out to Sleep’s epic song/album “Dopesmoker,” which I riffed on (poorly) in naming this issue of the newsletter. For those of you unaware of it, it’s an hour long song with crushing riffs and lyrics that very vaguely tell the tale of a stoner caravan coming out of the sands with bongs in hand, following the smoke to a riff-filled land. Shakespeare it ain’t, but on the other hand, nobody has ever rocked out to a sonnet.
Where do you think those gents in the robes are heading? What if I were to tell you that I knew the answer to this mystery?
It’s New Jersey.
Cannabis has been legal here in Jersey since the end of February. Governor Murphy was elected four years ago on the promise that he would get it done in the first 30 days, but that never actually happened. Then it was thrown onto the ballot and it passed with over 60% of the vote. Cool.
I’m all for legalized cannabis for a myriad of reasons that range from the political (the drug war in all of its facets has devastated communities of color/the penalties imposed for cannabis-related offenses are astronomical in proportion to the actual harm, etc.) to the practical (it’s pretty harmless, especially when compared to booze and cigarettes) to the personal (edibles are fun and weird).
In my travels around this country, I’ve been to some states that had legalized cannabis (Washington, Oregon and Mass.) but I had never been in a state as it was becoming legal, and being a complete and total nerd, this seemed like it might be pretty interesting. The part I’m most intrigued by is the time period that we’re currently living in—the time between legalization and the opening of dispensaries. Here in New Jersey there is a chance they will be open by the end of the year, but I’m more than a little cynical about that after watching how painfully slow the process to legalize was. But in the meantime, everybody is in this sort of limbo period.
So far the endeavor is… fascinating. I have not been remotely disappointed. I wanted to highlight a couple of the things I’ve found most interesting so far.
Apparently Weed Is No Longer Valuable
First and foremost on the list is the staggering amount of weed I’ve seen just laying on the ground. It seems like now that everything is legal people are no longer hoarding marijuana or really even valuing it at all. I have seen big pre-roll joints less than half smoked sitting on benches. I’ve seen edible packages with one or two gummies still left in the gutter. I’ve seen baggies with the remnants on the sidewalk more times than I can count. Friends of mine who work in the service industry have told me about patrons attempting to tip with edibles. I even saw a baggie with a half-nug on the seat of the PATH.
Did everybody suddenly become rich on the day it was legalized? It all seems so wasteful. Purchasing cannabis is still the same pain in the ass with all of the rigamarole that it’s always been, why are people just leaving it around these days? And yeah, I’ve considered that this could be the obvious result of people wandering the streets of Jersey City high and forgetful, but let’s be honest, nobody in this city (or the slightly larger one across the Hudson) has been bashful about their smoking in the past.
It’s bizarre.
Gotta Hand it to the Entrepreneurs
I’ve seen a ton of different ways entrepreneurs are trying to ply their trade while navigating through the gray zone left by the still adapting laws/marketplace. There are delivery services where you can order free “items” off a menu while “tipping” for them that openly advertise on Instagram. There was a barber shop that turned itself into a pop-up for a cannabis company on 4/20. A couple of downtown restaurants have offered BYOW dinners featuring cannabis-infused prix fixe menus. This is just the tip of the iceberg, I expect.
My personal experience with these clever individuals came on 4/20 as I was sitting outside of my beloved watering hole. A gentleman named Andy came over with a bag and asked us if we wanted some weed cookies. No cash was exchanged, he just wanted to share some cheer with people. While Andy was happily obliging to share his contact info in case we were ever interested in grabbing some more treats, he wasn’t pushing it on you. Now, some research has shown there may be mitigating reasons as to why Andy’s mind may not have been working on all cylinders, but I’m guessing he’s just a little green at his new endeavor. Don’t worry, he’ll get the hang of the hustle eventually.
What’s That Smell?
Leading up to legalization I read a lot of pearl-clutching over how Jersey will disintegrate into a (more) lawless wasteland than it already is. There were definitely a ton of op eds asking the age-old question—Won’t somebody please think about the children?!
That discourse is all rubbish in my eyes, but that being said I bet a lot of parents have spent their last couple of months being asked, “What’s that smell?” by their precocious youngsters. Again, it’s not like the smell of weed has never once graced the air of North Jersey and NYC before. As far back as seven years ago it was only notable when the block of 27th street that used to house the Inked offices didn’t smell like weed. But damn, it’s popping up all over the place now.
I’ve always been a fan of the scent, so it doesn’t bother me one bit. I especially like when I catch a whiff of it coming from an unlikely suspect—an older lady walking her dog, the PATH conductor on his break, the woman selling mangoes, etc.
Do You Have a Light?
I’m old enough to remember a time when people often asked if you had a light or, better yet, some matches you were willing to part with. Then the number of people I personally knew (and the public as a whole) who smoked dwindled to a select few. It had been forever since I’d been asked for a light. In the last month alone, I have had at least four people walk up to me and ask for a light when I’ve been hanging out outside of work. There was nary a cigarette in sight. Smoking is back, babaaay! And this time it’s got a new twist!
It’ll be interesting to see how things change once dispensaries are given the green light. One thing I’m really hoping for is that we see what I’ve experienced in Oregon and Washington—dispensaries with hilarious names. Electric Lettuce. The Joint on State. Gnome Grown. High End Market Place (think of the acronym). High Five. There were so many good ones.
If we don’t have a Springsteen-themed dispensary called Dancing in the Dank, what was the point of legalizing at all? I will also accept The Bada-Bong (courtesy of Kim).
Weekly Song to Rock Out To
“Brutal” by Olivia Rodrigo
I’m 40. That means that I am, in the parlance of our times, old as shit. But I still attempt to understand youth culture from time-to-time. Unsurprisingly, I usually walk away with a furrowed brow while muttering about how shit was better in my day. So I was reluctant to listen to Olivia Rodrigo when I saw all the hype about her debut album, “Sour.” Eventually I broke down and, well, I get it. So maybe she’s sneakily playing old man music, but she’s got some tracks.
This one really reminds me of Liz Phair and that particular era of alternative rock. I didn’t think I’d like it, I’m not sure if I even wanted to like it, but I frickin’ love it. Give her a listen.
That’s it! Thank you for reading this issue of Moronitude!
I’m working on a large Charlie’s History Corner for next week’s edition, but I didn’t want to rush it without doing all the research. So we’re pushing it. But here’s a sneak preview: Everything is bigger in Texas, including idiotic right wing attempts to whitewash history!